02 September 2007

A Humbled Food Snob

In case you can't tell yet, I'm a bit of a food snob. I scorn the food that the masses scarf down undiscerningly. Food trends are a result of masses of blind being led by masses of blind. If it's so massed produced, it can't be good. Down with Cafe Cartel / KFC / McDs / Burger King / Pasta Mania and the icky like. And on and on I go.

During the bubble tea craze, I avoided the sugared coloured health-damaging-agents fastidiously. And, by the way, you really shouldn't drink too much of it. My colleagues learnt how to make it recently and the amount of sugar that goes in to make it taste halfway decent is enough to give a whole ant colony a sugar buzzzzzzzzz.

When roti boy took the island by storm, I took a bite of it and ho-hummed through the rest of the craze. It's just coffee flavoured buttered buns! What's the big deal? Ditto when the Bread-talk pork floss bun came out. Anyone remember the long Qs waiting for those buns? Hands up those of you guilty ones, Q-ing for something as pedestrian as porkfloss + mayo on bread. I will always remember my Princess friend who said this of the bun, "When it comes out of the oven, you don't have to ask any questions! Just GRAB!" She's a dear friend and to each his / her own. If she likes it, good for her! But it's just mehhh for me.

And now, it's the donut craze! People Q-ing up in ridiculously loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong Qs for boxes and boxes of multicoloured donuts. What's the big deal, really? I've had donuts before, they're nothing to scream about, much less Q so very long for. Have you seen those Qs at Raffles City? Good gosh. And now there's one at Suntec City, which is quickly gathering a long snaking Q too.

One fine afternoon, my colleague dropped me off at Suntec. I had about 15min to spare and lo, I decided to find out Why There's A Perpetual Q: A Case For Donuts. And so I Q-ed for the take-away line, whereby you can only take 2 donuts away, max. "Fine!" I thought, while mentally rolling my eyes. 2's plenty anyways. I'll just find out what's the biggie with these things.

As I Q-ed and waited, I noticed svelt office girls digging into these donuts on premise, 2 per person! They look like really dainty eaters... no Atkins for them? And the elderly couple further up! Also 2 per pax?? No dietary constraints?? What's going on here? I surveyed the flavours before me and my eyes popped when I saw this: Double Chocolate. (Dark chocolate filling.) Oh dear me, please please please let there be double chocolate when I get there, please pretty pretty please.

God was kind, He allowed me to have both the flavours I was begging for (apple & cinnamon; double choc). I was going to meet Intuition, and now the question is, do I want to share my loot? I mean, he's my boyfriend and all, but these are donuts I've Q-ed long and hard for. Surely he doesn't need the extra calories. Perhaps he won't enjoy them. Don't I want to eat them by myself? If I don't tell him, he won't know! What he doesn't know won't hurt him! As I question myself, my eyes strayed to the handbag in my arms, a bag he bought for me not too long ago in a bid to give me a pleasant surprise.

Sigh. I suppose I must share.

The donuts were wolfed down in a matter of seconds. I didn't want to share the double chocolate, but Intuition had a crazy gleam in his eye and snatched the remaining half away from me while pushing his half-eaten apple-cinnamon donut towards me. "I don't wanna share mine! I dun wanna!" I cried, to no avail. Sadly, I started munching on the apple and cinnamon, and was duly comforted.

These donuts. They bring out the worst in people.

And I need some now.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

doughnuts are made of dough

which undoubtedly would give you rolls

so unless ure senselessly bold

u may wish to do as ure told

Quirkz said...

Hrmph.
Why don't you go Q and buy me the donuts for a change? :P :P :P
Rem: Double Chocolate. Buy 2 if you want any at all :D I'd appreciate the gesture ;)

Anonymous said...

*grins* ever thought of making your own double chocolate donuts so you won't have to Q for 'em?

Quirkz said...

mr bing, YES i have entertained that thought many times.

Unfortunately, i dun have a deep fryer at home =(

Anonymous said...

i know what to get for your house warming liao =D IF you invite me to your house warming that is ...