--->> Warning: Potentially controversial rant ahead. If you disagree with me, I invite you to tell me why, but no flaming please! <<---
Today, someone came into the office saying "Praise Jesus!" and asked for a staff who wasn't in at that time. So another staff attended to him.
And then the elderly gentleman went on to announce loudly to the whole office a sob story about how he's got no money n he needs money to go Ang Mo Kio to see doctor n he needs money and the office must give him money cos he's asking Jesus for help and he got no money and he wants us to give him money to let him get to AMK to see doctor if we don't give him money how he walk there he got athritis you know his leg is painful he got no money he's asking Jesus for help to give him money to go AMK to see doctor his medicine finish already he cannot walk to AMK not using money to gamble or womanise need to see Dr in AMK (how does he reach here in the first place?!?!!) My colleague offered him a free meal and offered to refer him to a medical social worker to get his bills reduced / waived / something or other but he insisted that "i need money to see doctor."
Apparently he came here several times asking for money already. From Ang Mo Kio? Hah.
Do I sound jaded and harsh? I don't think so. Honestly, I'm all for helping the less fortunate and I truly believe there are many individuals out there who need a helping hand. I honestly do think that more can be done for the poor in Singapore, eg making resources known instead of hiding it behind lots of corporate social jargonese. But there is a difference between having compassion for those in need, and being wise so that you're not taken for a fool.
The first time I met such a person, I was alone in the office with no one else around. I had to IM a guy from another part of the building to come in and handle the situation. Same case--guy walks in, says "Praise Jesus!" and goes on to say how he needs money. Out of the kindness of his heart, the guy who attended to him gave him $10 and sent him on his way. Is he going to spend the money on food? We don't know, but frankly that's beyond our control.
Working in a VWO, I know that we do render practical help and assistance to genuine cases. There are usually some paper work to go through, but for the urgent cases, we do close an eye and give some form of assistance before the paperwork is done (e.g., food rations). And there is world of a difference between a genuine cry for help and a deliberate emotional blackmail ("if you don't help me get out of this {make-believe} mess i got myself into it's all your fault").
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7 comments:
sounds like a tough one...
yeah, need wisdom to know when to exercise grace and when to be firm. do u think this post can be stumbling to pre-believers?
well... my landlady moved back recently and we were talking about this.
right now, i have this theory that in reality, if i were a non-christian, i would actually look down upon the christians for being so "stupid" in giving money to people who obviously is cheating others instead of trying to work hard and in supporting themselves... which means, by exercising good judgement instead of giving out of pity with no principles.
if non-christians or even christians think we should have no boundaries and no principles, i would think this kind of thinking is rather immature and merely trying to manipulate thru guilt.
really... by giving someone who has the habit of unhealthy dependency, it's not doing them any good but actually harming them in the long run.
yeah that's what we thought too, and that's why that guy was turned away. it's not like he wasn't offered help.. he was only after cash.
i rem a ps sharing b4 about how he gave a large amt cash to someone who approached him for money with a sob story, n when he tried to visit them at the address given to minister to them, he realised he was given a bogus address.
there was another case: a full-time staff i know was asked to be a garuntor for his disciple in school, who was from another country. the disciple did badly for his studies and went back to his country--without settling the debt. the staff had to deal with the debt, which is no small amt. can u imagine?!
having said that, the bible does state to not withhold good from others when it's in your power to give it, and also to not turn away from the one who asks to borrow money. it's really how you exercise wisdom for such situations.
ya... i guess the balance of what i wrote comes with the fact that i am usually too nice (except for giving money to strangers). and i always believe that people will have to be accounted to God at the end of the day...
It's a miracle that you are not already jaded and harsh, working in a VWO, where you probably comes across many cases of sobs taking you for a ride.
Having said that, it might be worthwhile to ponder that nobody started out in this world as sobs and if one reached and digged a bit deeper, we might find that it is possible to change them into useful & productive citizens. But it requires persistence and perseverance.
Tigger is right about encouraging unhealthy dependency but as to non-christians judging christians as being "stupid" for giving blindly,i like to think that they are the minority. Most people give out of just wanting to help without thinking about reciprocation or forming any judgements.
hi myden,
thanks for popping by. yes certainly no one starts out as sobs. i also agree with u that change is possible, but it takes a lot of effort.
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